When it's all said and done...

Life--existing, time on earth, creation...

however you look at it, it is limited..has a beginning and an end..for some the end is sooner than expected and for some they are lucky to live a long and "healthy" life. I'm writing this post after having learned a few hours ago that I had lost a friend in a car accident (because of some idiot reckless driver). I've been thinking for a long time about what I want my legacy to be, how I want to make a meaning out of my life so that it isn't just a meaningless one.

It is so much easier to say live your life like there is no tomorrow, but we always find ourselves caught up in the minor intricacies and problems of life that we are quick to forget the big picture. Not until we lose someone close that we are quickly reminded to live our life and make the most of everyday and make the most out of every minute you have with friends and family because you really never know when that might be your last.

In my last blog I spoke of where I am in my life right now and laid out a very abstract plan for the next few years with some goals I would like to accomplish. The one thing I left out is what I would like to be remembered for if I am blessed with a long and healthy life. We are all put on this earth for a reason and no matter the specific reason, at the end of the day it is to enrich each others' lives. If you have made one positive impact on someone else's life I believe you lived a great life. That in a nutshell is what I want to be remembered for...I love to help others in need, it hurts me deeply to see others, such as people in Somalia, starving to death and seeing the children affected by this famine crisis in 2011...

Yea I have these dreams/goals of getting rich and having a career that I love...and I'm going to school to reach those dreams, but what'll be the point of 20+ years of school, a 5 or 6 figure salary, a house on a few acres of land, vacations, etc or how can I possibly enjoy it if I'm living that life and there's people in 3rd world countries that can't even be guaranteed just ONE meal a day?

I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel here, but I definitely want to be a part of the solution rather than live an illusional lifestyle as if all is well in the world. Let's get involved here and find it in our hearts to put our best foot forward so famine isn't an issue in our time. My mind is still all over the place at the moment...but if anything out of this blog makes sense...

Live your life to the fullest
Don't count on your "young age" to put things off until "later"
Let your friends and family know you love them
YOUR life shouldn't be lived selfishly--share it--have that positive impact on someone else's life



RIP Amber...We'll deeply miss you

Where I am right now...

This is going to be a combo of things/topics about where I am in life right now...

First off sorry for being MIA (blog wise) for so long...long story

Anywho, this summer has been an interesting one, but through all the hurdles it has been one that most likely has taught me the most and taken me to where I need to begin the next stage in my life. First off I would like to start off by thanking the people in my life, If it wasn't for y'all I don't know WHERE in the world I would've been or HOW I would've made it through this summer.

My family, I definitely don't have the closest or the most lovey dovey family in the world, we got our issues, but this year I have grown closer to them, especially my siblings, than I have EVER been. I suppose that came with age but I truly do love them to death even with all the problems we might have. My oldest sister has been a constant life line for me and she always put us first over herself...she is JUST like my mom even though I don't think she realizes it. I've never told her but I really do look up to her and always have. As for my little bro, I need to step up and really be the big brother that he needs..I have a lot of work to do to get my relationship with him right.

My LBs..Ashton, Mejoy, BK, DL...You 4 have NO idea how much love I have for yall or maybe you do. My mom understands very well that she has 6 sons lol. DL proud as hell of that guy, Scholar, Athlete, Gentlemen...he'll always be my big ass lil brother lmao..BK, glad that dude is on my side, even though he's gonna end up in hell LMAO he knows why (Is this the football game?-BK) Dude had me dying from laughing so hard. Mejoy, I'm the Ace so he's my shadow (irony)..fellow road dawg...Owe this dude a lot!...Ashton, that deuce...love giving this dude a hard time lol (Bruhz let's make moves) lmao..

My roommates..Justin, David, J-Rabb, Sam...besides the 2 groups up top no one else knows me better than these guys. They might be second after my LBs..that's deep. Even though we are done living together (all of us) we'll always be 1105 or 311...Y'all gotta admit I'm not as hard headed as I used to be Lmao.

Friendship TRULY is very essential to the soul. I would be in a very very dark place in my life if it wasn't for the friends that I have to shine the light I need to keep my on successful path. In the past 8 years I've met some GREAT friends and I look forward to meeting more and strengthening the bond I have with some of you.

..........................................

We have about one month until the 2011-12 school year starts, this will be my final year at the U of MN. It's been a great ride but I'm definitely ready to graduate and start the next stage in my life "The real world"..but let's not get ahead of ourselves. They says this is usually the hardest year, the final lap...My whole mindset and plan was to be MIA and concentrate on me, be a little selfish because honestly I feel like I have been spreading myself waaay too thin. Don't get me wrong I have no regrets because with every org, every major I picked up, every job I got I gained a lot of experience and it has had a lot to do with the man I am today. Anywho, I think my plan to disappear has kinda gone out the door; responsibilities that cannot be ignored. I'm ok with it, because I'm good with who I am. I'm always going to be that guy that wants to try new things and do everything, meet new people and have fun. I am who I am.

Many of you might have heard that my best friend got married July 30th to his HS sweetheart...congrats to him and his beautiful wife..wish them nothing but the best. They moved to St. cloud where she works now. They better believe I'll be there soon to visit lol. A lot of my HS friends and UofMN friends are getting married and starting families..y'all are making me feel like I'm behind lol..anywho the relationship Eric has with his wife...it's the one I look up to...if I am fortunate enough to even have half of that I'd be a happy man. That's 7yrs they had together and now many more to come. With all the 3 degree I get from my mom and some of my friends got me thinking it's time I start to get more serious about relationships. I definitely want to, but I have a lot of things to workout for myself before I can share my life with someone, it just wouldn't be fair to them. Hell I'm only 22 (contrary to what some of yall might think -_- )

....................................

I have this plan in my head after graduation...I recently started working for Wells Fargo, at first I figured it was just a part time job to pay the bills...but they did a great job of selling me on a great company..so I plan on working up the ladder for a few years 3-5yr plan then I want to move out East to go to grad school, getting my MBA is not negotiable..It WILL happen. I'm thinking NY or DC maybe PA...that's plan A, plan B involves me moving out of the country for grad school. I see myself in London or France after 3-5yrs working on my Masters. I haven't done a lot of research for plan B yet but it's an option I can see myself pursuing.

One thing that I have to say is that I expect to be great..and as Deion Sanders (who just got inducted into the Hall of Fame tonight) said in his speech "Start Expecting what you Desire" One of the all time greats and this is definitely advice by which I will be living. 


I dunno what or when the next blog will be, this one was just a bunch of random thoughts hope you enjoyed it...if not...sorry? 


---maQUEvelli

12 THINGS THE NEGRO MUST DO FOR HIMSELF

WRITTEN IN THE 1900'S (I received this in an email, wanted to share it)

Let's kick start the acknowledgement of Black History by looking back at where we were. Thought you might find this interesting. Written by a black woman in the 1900's

12 Things The Negro Must Do For Himself

by Nannie Helen Burroughs

(Circa Early 1900's)

1. The Negro Must Learn To Put First Things First. The First Things Are: Education; Development of Character Traits; A Trade and Home Ownership.

The Negro puts too much of his earning in clothes, in food, in show and in having what he calls 'a good time.' The Dr. Kelly Miller said, 'The Negro buys what he WANTS and begs for what he needs.'

2. The Negro Must Stop Expecting God and White Folk To Do For Him What He Can Do For Himself.

It is the 'Divine Plan' that the strong shall help the weak, but even God does not do for man what man can do for himself. The Negro will have to do exactly what Jesus told the man (in John 5:8) to do--Carry his own load--'Take up your bed and walk.'

3. The Negro Must Keep Himself, His Children And His Home Clean And Make The Surroundings In Which He Lives Comfortable and Attractive.

He must learn to 'run his community up'—not down. We can segregate by law, we integrate only by living. Civilization is not a matter of race, it is a matter of standards. Believe it or not--someday, some race is going to outdo the Anglo-Saxon, completely. It can be the Negro race, if the Negro gets sense enough. Civilization goes up and down that way.

4. The Negro Must Learn To Dress More Appropriately For Work And For Leisure. Knowing what to wear--how to wear it--when to wear it and where to wear it, are earmarks of common sense, culture and also an index to character.

5. The Negro Must Make His Religion An Everyday Practice And Not Just A Sunday-Go-To-Meeting Emotional Affair.

6. The Negro Must Highly Resolve To Wipe Out Mass Ignorance.

The leaders of the race must teach and inspire the masses to become eager and determined to improve mentally, morally and spiritually, and to meet the basic requirements of good citizenship. We should initiate an intensive literacy campaign in America, as well as in Africa . Ignorance--is a millstone about the neck of the race. It is democracy's greatest burden. Social integration is a relationship attained as a result of the cultivation of kindred social ideals, interests and standards. It is a blending process that requires time, understanding and kindred purposes to achieve…Likes alone and not laws can do it.

7. The Negro Must Stop Charging His Failures Up To His 'Color' And To White People's Attitude. The truth of the matter is that good service and conduct will make senseless race prejudice fade like mist before the rising sun. God never intended that a man's color shall be anything other than a badge of distinction. It is high time that all races were earning that fact. The Negro must first QUALIFY for whatever position he wants. Purpose, initiative, ingenuity and industry are the keys that all men use to get what they want. The Negro will have to do the same. He must make himself a workman who is too skilled not to be wanted, and too DEPENDABLE not to be on the job, according to promise or plan. He will never become a vital factor in industry until he learns to put into his work the vitalizing force of initiative, skill and dependability. He has gone 'RIGHTS' mad and 'DUTY' dumb.

8. The Negro Must Overcome His Bad Job Habits. He must make a brand new reputation for himself in the world of labor. His bad job habits are absenteeism, funerals to attend, or a little business to look after. The Negro runs an off and on business. He also has a bad reputation for conduct on the job--such as petty quarreling with other help, incessant loud talking about nothing; loafing, carelessness, due to lack of job pride; insolence, gum chewing and--too often--liquor drinking. Just plain bad job habits!

9. He Must Improve His Conduct In Public Places. Taken as a whole, he is entirely too loud and too ill-mannered. There is much talk about wiping out racial segregation and also much talk about achieving integration. Segregation is a physical arrangement by which people are separated in various services. It is definitely up to the Negro to wipe out the apparent justification or excuse for segregation. The only effective way to do it is to clean up and keep clean. By practice, cleanliness will become a habit and habit becomes character.

10. The Negro Must Learn How To Operate Business For People--Not For Negro People, Only. To do business, he will have to remove all typical 'earmarks,' business principles; measure up to accepted standards and meet stimulating competition, graciously--in fact, he must learn to welcome competition.

11. The Average So-Called Educated Negro Will Have To Come Down Out Of The Air. He Is Too Inflated Over Nothing. He Needs An Experience Similar To The One That Ezekiel Had--(Ezekiel 3:14-19). And He Must Do What Ezekiel Did

Otherwise, through in difference, as to the plight of the masses, the Negro, who thinks that he has escaped, will lose his own soul. It will do all leaders good to read Hebrews 13:3, and the first Thirty-seven Chapters of Ezekiel. A race transformation itself through its own leaders and its sensible 'common people.' A race rises on its own wings, or is held down by its own weight. True leaders are never 'things apart from the people.' They are the masses. They simply got to the front ahead of them. Their only business at the front is to inspire to masses by hard work and noble example and challenge them to 'Come on!' Dante stated a fact when he said, 'Show the people the light and they will find the way!' There must arise within the Negro race a leadership that is not out hunting bargains for itself. A noble example is found in the men and women of the Negro race, who, in the early days, laid down their lives for the people. Their invaluable contribution shave not been appraised by the 'latter-day leaders.' In many cases, their names would never be recorded, among the unsung heroes of the world, but for the fact that white friends have written them there.

'Lord, God of Hosts, Be with us yet.'

The Negro of today does not realize that, but, for these exhibits A's, that certainly show the innate possibilities of members of their own race, white people would not have been moved to make such princely investments in lives and money, as they have made, for the establishment of schools and for the on-going of the race.

12. The Negro Must Stop Forgetting His Friends. 'Remember. Read Deuteronomy 24:18. Deuteronomy rings the big bell of gratitude. Why? Because an ingrate is an abomination in the sight of God. God is constantly telling us that 'I the Lord thy God delivered you'—through human instrumentalities. The American Negro has had and still has friends—in the North and in the South. These friends not only pray, speak, write, influence others, but make unbelievable, unpublished sacrifices and contributions for the advancement of the race--for their brothers in bonds. The noblest thing that the Negro can do is to so live and labor that these benefactors will not have given in vain. The Negro must make his heart warm with gratitude, his lips sweet with thanks and his heart and mind resolute with purpose to justify the sacrifices and stand on his feet and go forward--'God is no respect or of persons. In every nation, he that feareth him and worketh righteousness is' sure to win out. Get to work! That's the answer to everything that hurts us. We talk too much about nothing instead of redeeming the time by working.

R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R

In spite of race prejudice, America is brim full of opportunities. Go after them! 

Old Fashion?

My last blog was about relationships...this one still falls under the same category..kind of

This is a question/post to the women of the world!

Since the beginning of time men have always had to take the first step. Bob the Caveman always stood from afar with sweaty palms contemplating how to go about asking Jane the Cavewoman out and of course fearing rejection...what has changed? Nothing {-___-}...lol..We (men) are still expected to take the first step and do the asking.

SO! the question is WHY do women NOT take the first step and ask a guy out? I'm gonna keep it real, we're bad at taking hints; so all the clue dropping can stop and you can stop being agitated cuz we missed it. The best clue you can give is..be straight forward and ASK!

I suppose it is easier to do the rejection than to be rejected...but the whole men gotta ask thing is old fashion..

(Let me pause and say for the most part I'm old fashion...I'll ask, I'll pay, I'll drive....I don't mind and would feel weird if I didn't pay or drive)

Most women these days are claiming the whole "independent woman" thing...that's great but if your definition of "independent" is Webbie...GTFOH...sorry I digress...anywho; so if old fashion is out why not take the first step and ask???

Honestly that's all we ask? lol Just ask or be straight forward...Here's MY take on it...or how it would play out...BUT this is just ME

You be straight forward or ask...If i feel the same way we'll go out..if we go out, I don't mind driving and paying..I would feel weird if I paid..Old fashion in me lol

So moral of the story...WOMEN BE STRAIGHT FORWARD AND ASK :D

Do you like me? Check Yes or No...

Rated R: Language (lol)

Relationships...always seems to be a hot topic. I'm sure most of you have been with your group of friends and something sparks the conversation and before you know it hours have gone by but no solutions have been reached. We always seem to be arguing about the same issues and end up looking like a dog chasing its own tail. I don't know how many have seen a dog chase its tail, but the dog looks like an idiot. I'm gonna focus on black people for this post because, this is a very big topic and I'm not gonna claim to be a relationship expert. Anywho, this is usually how this convo starts...Black woman (frustrated): "Ugh, Fuck all niggas, I hate men, there are NO good men left" usually followed by her girls agreeing in unison, "Yea good black men are extinct".....

(RIDICULOUS CLAIM!)

REALLY??!!! well damn someone should've told me that we were going extinct. Yes I consider myself to be a good (won't say great cuz we all have things to work on) black man. And I happen to live and am friends with a lot of good black men. SO what seems to be the issue???

LET ME PAUSE FOR A SECOND AND GIVE THIS DISCLAIMER...I'M WRITING THIS POST FROM MY STANDPOINT...NOT A NEUTRAL POSITION...because I want the women to argue their own side..fair enough? 

Ok so...is this the case of women setting their standards too high? or Not knowing what they want? (question of the millennium by the way "what do women want") 

Talking with some of my roommates, I think it's a case of right standards wrong stage (strictly speaking for women ages 18-25). What do I mean? A lot of these women have the right standards, everyone should have high standards for their partner. But the issue arises when you start mixing up different stages in life with different standards. As a college student your standards for a partner should not be that of someone that is already in a career and can support himself and you, but you are looking in the college setting. Because you're gonna get that brotha that is working hard doing the right things but unable to reach a set of high standards out of his reach (for now). 

I think it's also a concept I like to call the "vicious circle" this is a result of the first theory...So great girl/woman has the right standards but wrong stage. Gets approached by hard working, but broke, guy...he doesn't meet the near impossible standards set for him..therefore he is rejected, this happens to him a few times by various women, after a while he decides I'm done trying. What's the point? His mindset turns into "I can never get that girl, she's outta my league"..and now Woman with high standards is not being approached by the "good guy" anymore, but more and more "bitch niggas" (suppose I should cite Kat Williams here for the term). She gets treated horribly by bad guy and now we're back to "I Hate men, Good men don't exist anymore"...

Moral of the story, adjust your standards and give that guy you saw studying and working 2-3 jobs (just to be broke) a chance..could pay off in the long run. And stop making ridiculous claims such as "good black men are extinct"

Involvement (Extinct?)

There was a time at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities when being involved (in the Black community) was something in which to be proud. EVERYONE supported EVERYONE. Black Student Union was the umbrella organization, every event thrown meant an opportunity to see a room packed with people with like ideals and goals that looked like YOU! Black Greek Organizations all supported each other; healthy competition! It was definitely a community to be proud of and want to by involved in. 

Somewhere along the line something happened and being involved took a back seat. Somehow we now have a community that is concentrated on being an individual, only worried about themselves. When did we forget that life is a team game and you won't get through it alone. This organizations we are a part of are the support systems we need to get through life (college). 

I remember my freshman year coming into the Black Student Union (that's room 209, apparently some of you have forgotten about the 2nd floor in CMU) and seeing a room full of Black people relaxing, studying, speaking on topics that were relevant to the world (real talk this was going on lol), and this was everyday of the week near damn. But these days it's a hit or miss. We all heard about the "budget cuts" that the University is going through, and we all know about the attack on the 2nd floor in Coffman. The question you have to ask yourself is what are you doing to prevent it?! GET INVOLVED! 

Just to play Devil's Advocate for a second here...if you have ever been in the BSU or a BSU event, you have most likely seen the person that comes around to count how many people are in there, if you have been to an event the board usually has you sign in...these procedures aren't just there so you get pesky emails..it's used to track numbers. The last couple of years I have been to numerous events hosted by various Black student orgs and it is sad to say that the numbers have dwindled down to an all time embarrassing low. Why Shouldn't the University come after us? (playing Devil's advocate lol)..WHY? because honestly we don't work together to support each other...The amount of time, effort and MONEY that goes into planning an event compared to a turnout of a crowd is very depressing. And as a student who has been a part of the Black Student Union board for 3 years, and President of my chapter (Omega Psi Phi) I have to say that it has been frustrating, disappointing and mind boggling to see the level of interest drop so low. I'm sure you all have heard about the BSU losing their fees for next year, talk about the knockout blow to get rid of an organization that has been here since 1969! It's not impossible to function without fees but it sure as HELL won't be easy, not if you're as big of an Org. Without fees, how will we keep that room that we all love to go hangout in??? Inform yourself on the various affairs of the U, because everyday they are making decisions that affect us all. We need to stick together and fight as a team..."The five separate fingers are five independent units. Close them and the fist multiplies strength."

I feel like I can argue or ramble or whatever about this topic forever but it truly is sad that we have come to this point of losing something that has been fought for, for so long. Ask yourself this? When was the last time you attended an event thrown by an organization that wasn't your own and wasn't a party/probate? How many of you attended the BSU kickoff? the Black history month events, Omega's week in February, Sigma week, Alpha week, Kappa week is starting today (here's your chance). All these orgs are student run...students just like you and me...we keep working hard to put these events together, put a lot of money into these events and we (ppl in our own org) end up being the majority of the attendees. Let me tell you this, it's not a great feeling when you've booked a great speaker, so they can come speak to 15-20ppl.. but that has been the trend for the last few years. After a while it makes you wonder what more can I do or should I even bother putting on these events. 

As a senior I worry about who the leaders of tomorrow will be? Step up and get involved, if you TRULY do care for any of these orgs show your support by attending these events...and if there's an event that you would like to see a certain organization host, talk to a member. These events aren't for us, they are for YOU, the community...voice your opinion. LET'S TAKE SOME PRIDE IN OUR COMMUNITY...BECAUSE IF WE DON'T WHO WILL???